Germany national Soccer team News

The German National Soccer team was unstoppable. Their passes, crisp and robotic. Their thigh muscles, rippling as if they were of the god Apollo himself. The entire nation of Brazil could do nothing but weep as the Germans boldly marched into their country and as they did in 1940s France, reign hell and destruction upon the poor people as women and children wept and men hid away from the German forces.

When the battle was over, the Brazilians trembled and watched as Germany triumphed 7-1.

The agony is raw as German forces sodomized Brazil by the score 7-1 on the soccer field. Shocked Brazilians could only cry out to the “Christ The Redeemer” Jesus Statue and wonder where it all went wrong. Did they somehow wrong Christ and bring this great German destruction upon themselves?

The youth of Brazil lost their innocence. Scores of once hopeful Brazilians saw their futures dashed by the Nazi-super soldier serum injecting soldiers, reminding Brazil that once all the pomp and circumstance of the FIFA World Cup is over, the weatlhy world will forget all about them and their struggles.

Not since World War II have German forces caused a nation to cry so many defeated tears all at once.

When German Chancellor Angela Merkel was asked about Germany’s merciless assault on Brazil, she released the following statement: “Let our destruction of Brazil serve as a reminder to the rest of the world. When it comes to warfare and utterly destroying a nation who dares stand against the Motherland and Der Furher, I think today we have shown the same power as we showed in our glory days 6 score and 12 years ago.”

Crazed German players and fans stormed Brazil’s Christ the Redeemer Statue, attaching their flag to Christ’s hands and claiming “Brazil is now the property of Germany”.

“And even you, America, you know what happens if you dare stand against Germany alone.”

The Brazilian government has already petitioned FIFA, citing the Germans assuredly “used a medicinal serum” to cause their players to be able to perform feats ‘for beyond what is reasonable for a peak human athlete.’

RIOTS:

Brazilians have already started to riot, threatening to kick FIFA out of the nation and not let the championship be played unless team Germany does not undergo DNA/steroid testing.